Thankful Thoughts and Heart Groans

Just a few updates and thoughts:

I am thankful for something that has caused me a lot of pain and suffering.  I am thankful that we have had to deal with the horrible reality of infertility.  Yes, I have cried many tears over this issue, felt empty inside, felt out of place at a kid's events, and I don't wish it on my worst enemy, but truthfully, it's made me a stronger person and one who will be, hopefully, very considerate when that day comes for us when we get to add to our family.

Dave and I were talking on the way home tonight about pregnancies and how people announce and react to them.  For us, finding out that someone else is pregnant is kind of sad.  Yes, we are very excited for them and want the best, but at the same time, it's hard.  We wonder why it can't be us.  People tell us that God knows best and that we just have to wait for his timing, but until you've been in our shoes, you have NO IDEA how empty those words are.  We do believe that God has a plan,  but if you've never had to wait longer than a year or even six months for those two blessed lines on a pregnancy test or for that sweet moment when your child takes their first breathe, I dare say that you know little of what we deal with on almost an everyday basis.

Along those same lines, hearing people complain about their pregnancies starts to irritate me.  I try to be patient, but here's the thing.  To me, complaining about your pregnancy woes is like a rich man complaining about his four story house and awesome job to a man who is losing their house because they've lost their job.  If you were the first man, would you sit around and talk about your things and not feel any compassion at all on the poor man?  Would you complain about how you have to go to work everyday and deal with cleaning your pool?  I would hope that you would be considerate and think about how that other person feels.  Does that make any sense?

Now, do you need to hide your pregnancy from us (people who struggle getting pregnant) and pretend that nothing is going on?  No, that can be just as hurtful, but at the same time, all I ask is that the next time you're around someone who is struggling, think about how you complaining about having morning sickness or a sore back makes them feel.  I bet they would die to have to deal with an upset stomach and a hurt back.

Okay....now that I've stood on my soap box for long enough........The birth mom, K, is due this Saturday.  I've emailed and chatted with her.  She's pretty scared of the whole labor thing and I would be, too.  She's still planning on keeping the baby, A, and she and M have taken a few classes.  Just, if you get a chance, say a prayer for K and M, and baby A.  As much as I would love to welcome baby A into our family, I have to realize that God is in control and He needed us in this situation to show K God's love.

I did mail K the baby outfit and stuffed animal that we bought soon after finding out that it was a girl.  I just needed her to know that we love this baby no matter what.  She sent me a thank you note and was very excited to get it in the mail.  We've even talked about meeting face to face in November when we got home for Dave's marathon.  :-)

Thanks for all of your prayers.