As you may have noticed, the blog has been kind of quiet lately, part of that is due to the busy season that we've had. We recently had a trip to Florida, a birthday, and now Easter is quickly approaching.
Another reason that I've been kinda quiet is because I was really unsure as to what to do next when it comes to another adoption.
I know that we need a homestudy, no matter which route we take, but beyond that, I was honestly torn. I would love to have another infant, another baby that we bring home from the hospital. I love the newborn snuggle stage and from our experience with Nate, we know how "easy" it is to bond and feel like normal parents. While all of those things are wonderful, I worry about moving forward with another private adoption. I feel like we got so lucky with Nate's situation. Everything went so smoothly and I worry that our next experience would not be that way. On top of that, the money is a big issue. We don't have $20,000-$30,000 to put towards another adoption.
While watching the fireworks at Disney, I looked over at Nate and it hit me. While I would love to adopt another baby, my heart really wants to adopt out of foster care, even if that means that our next child will be older when he/she comes home. This trip to Disney was his third trip in three years! He is so spoiled and loved and I can't imagine what his life would be like if he were in foster care. It's hard for me to justify spending a ton of money on an infant when there are children waiting for a Mommy and a Daddy. They may grow up without ever experiencing stability and a place to call home.
As the realization hit me that night, I got scared, mainly because I didn't know if Dave would be on board. I worried that this was something that was on my heart and mind, yet not on his. I held onto this realization for a while before expressing it to him. I needed time to think about it and prepare myself for his reaction.
When I finally got up the nerve to talk to him about it this week, I was pleasantly surprised that he's okay with it as long as we stick to our original plan and adopt a child younger than Nate. That might mean that our wait time is long, but we're both okay with that.
Got might surprise us and "drop a baby in our laps" through private adoption, but at the moment, I think we're ready to really open the door to adopting out of foster care. :)
Showing posts with label Our Story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Our Story. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Monday, February 25, 2013
The Journey Continues
If you're my Facebook friend, you know that things are happening in our family. :)
Before the end of last year, Dave and I came to the conclusion that we were ready to start thinking about adding to our family. We do want to adopt again and we knew that once we got settled into the new house that we wanted to look into getting our homestudy done. For those of you that don't know, a homestudy must be done before an adoption can happen. We had a homestudy done when we lived in Florida, but since the move and the adoption of Nate, we need to start the whole process over again. This is an overwhelming thought, an expensive process (probably costing around $2.000), but something that must be done if we want to add to our family.
I called a few leads today about getting our homestudy completed. Mostly, I left messages for people, hoping that I will receive a call back. I'll make some more calls tomorrow
At this moment, we are leaning toward another private adoption, much like Nate's. We're not opposed to an adoption from the foster care system, but we have decided to keep Nate as our oldest child. Because of this, it makes adopting from the system harder since most children are not free for adoption until they are older. As someone told me, it's rare to find children younger than three, but not impossible.
As far as finances, I wish we could adopt through the system. Private adoptions like Nate's are so expensive and let's face it, we aren't rolling in the dough. :)
I am so thankful for all of you that read this blog and have not only followed our journey to Nate, but will join us on this new journey.
Before the end of last year, Dave and I came to the conclusion that we were ready to start thinking about adding to our family. We do want to adopt again and we knew that once we got settled into the new house that we wanted to look into getting our homestudy done. For those of you that don't know, a homestudy must be done before an adoption can happen. We had a homestudy done when we lived in Florida, but since the move and the adoption of Nate, we need to start the whole process over again. This is an overwhelming thought, an expensive process (probably costing around $2.000), but something that must be done if we want to add to our family.
I called a few leads today about getting our homestudy completed. Mostly, I left messages for people, hoping that I will receive a call back. I'll make some more calls tomorrow
At this moment, we are leaning toward another private adoption, much like Nate's. We're not opposed to an adoption from the foster care system, but we have decided to keep Nate as our oldest child. Because of this, it makes adopting from the system harder since most children are not free for adoption until they are older. As someone told me, it's rare to find children younger than three, but not impossible.
As far as finances, I wish we could adopt through the system. Private adoptions like Nate's are so expensive and let's face it, we aren't rolling in the dough. :)
I am so thankful for all of you that read this blog and have not only followed our journey to Nate, but will join us on this new journey.
Monday, May 21, 2012
Withdrawal Babies
A few weeks ago as I was resting in bed before going to sleep, I checked my phone to make sure that I didn't have any missed calls or emails and when I did this, an article in the news section on my phone caught my attention.
I clicked on the article and it took me to this video.
Watching this video is hard because my Tater was one of those babies and
it reminds me of the pain that he went through. He had all the
symptoms that the doctor describes in this video. His little body had
tremors like the babies in this video and honestly, his were a lot
stronger than the ones you see here. When he wasn't swaddled, his little arms and legs would shake. It is sad to remember those rough
days, to remember how helpless he was.
Even when he wasn't crying, he always had a furrowed brow, a sign that he was in pain and going through withdrawals.
We spent a ton of time sitting in the less than comfy recliner caring for our boy. If we arrived and he was already asleep, we had to leave him in his isolette because picking him up would upset him.
While he was in the NICU, we did everything we could to get him home faster. We wanted him home, but boy were we naive. We assumed that when they let him go home that his withdrawals would be over, but we were so wrong. Yes, there were good moments, but we had lots of these moments.
As horrible as the withdrawal was, he has no lasting effects from it and thankfully, he doesn't remember any of it. He is a perfectly healthy and normal two year old. Was the withdrawal horrible? Yes. Was it worth it? Yes. So thankful that those days are behind us, that even though he had a rough start, he is one awesome little boy.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
ONCE Upon A Time (Part 3)
So, where were we??? :-)
My parents had shown up at church and we decided to go out to lunch with them at Olive Garden. They went ahead on over to the restaurant and got us a table while we finished up some stuff at church. On the drive over, I felt like throwing up. It's an exciting time, but for me, telling my parents that we were pregnant just made me feel sick to my stomach. I knew they would be excited, but again, we had told them that it would be at least 5 years before we started having kids.
We got there, found their table, and sat down. I'm sitting there looking at the menu, feeling like puking, and I can't even begin to try to focus on deciding what I wanted to order. I finally told them that I had something to tell them and I needed to get it out because I felt like I was going to be sick if I didn't. I told them and they didn't know what to say. My sister's reaction was full of excitement over the fact that she was going to be an aunt. (She was 11 at the time, I think.) My brother likes to describe my dad's reaction. He said it was as if my dad had swallowed an entire Olive Garden breadstick whole. After the initial shock, they started to warm up to the idea, asking us questions and finding out more information. I will just never forget that moment of complete and utter shock on my mom and dad's faces. It makes me smile and laugh to think about it today and we still talk about it sometimes when we're all together. There is always laughter involved when discussing that day.
Soon after telling my parents, we told Dave's parents and Grandma when they were at our house. They were shocked, but very excited and I remember that Beth and Joe were there, but in the other room playing with Roscoe, our pup. Debbie (Dave's mom) asked Uncle Joe and Aunt Beth to come into the room and they did, not knowing that her words had a meaning behind them. They were super excited for us.
I also remember telling my Grandma and Grandpa at Christmas that year. My mom had written a sweet card that contained a little poem in it, basically saying that a baby would be joining our family before the next Christmas. I remember watching my Grandma's face as she's reading it, trying to figure out what it meant and when she did, she showed my Grandaddy. Everyone was so excited for us.
That Christmas, when we celebrated with my dad's side of the family, it was a sad year. My cousin, Ryan, had been killed in an automobile accident that April. It was our first Christmas without him and we even had the get together at my house to make things easier. We had been sitting around talking about Ryan and my aunt had a song for us all to listen to. After the song, it seemed like a perfect time to let everyone know that we were expecting. I even called my cousin Beth, who wasn't able to be with us that year, to tell her the news. Good times.
These are all memories that I will never forget. It was such a time of excitement and joy. Yes, we were overwhelmed, especially since we had been told that it could take us six months to get pregnant and it had taken one month, but still, the thoughts of starting our own family were so exciting. Little did we know that in just a few short weeks, we would be sharing some sad news that will forever.
Up next...our insurance drama. Gotta love insurance companies, right???
My parents had shown up at church and we decided to go out to lunch with them at Olive Garden. They went ahead on over to the restaurant and got us a table while we finished up some stuff at church. On the drive over, I felt like throwing up. It's an exciting time, but for me, telling my parents that we were pregnant just made me feel sick to my stomach. I knew they would be excited, but again, we had told them that it would be at least 5 years before we started having kids.
We got there, found their table, and sat down. I'm sitting there looking at the menu, feeling like puking, and I can't even begin to try to focus on deciding what I wanted to order. I finally told them that I had something to tell them and I needed to get it out because I felt like I was going to be sick if I didn't. I told them and they didn't know what to say. My sister's reaction was full of excitement over the fact that she was going to be an aunt. (She was 11 at the time, I think.) My brother likes to describe my dad's reaction. He said it was as if my dad had swallowed an entire Olive Garden breadstick whole. After the initial shock, they started to warm up to the idea, asking us questions and finding out more information. I will just never forget that moment of complete and utter shock on my mom and dad's faces. It makes me smile and laugh to think about it today and we still talk about it sometimes when we're all together. There is always laughter involved when discussing that day.
Soon after telling my parents, we told Dave's parents and Grandma when they were at our house. They were shocked, but very excited and I remember that Beth and Joe were there, but in the other room playing with Roscoe, our pup. Debbie (Dave's mom) asked Uncle Joe and Aunt Beth to come into the room and they did, not knowing that her words had a meaning behind them. They were super excited for us.
I also remember telling my Grandma and Grandpa at Christmas that year. My mom had written a sweet card that contained a little poem in it, basically saying that a baby would be joining our family before the next Christmas. I remember watching my Grandma's face as she's reading it, trying to figure out what it meant and when she did, she showed my Grandaddy. Everyone was so excited for us.
That Christmas, when we celebrated with my dad's side of the family, it was a sad year. My cousin, Ryan, had been killed in an automobile accident that April. It was our first Christmas without him and we even had the get together at my house to make things easier. We had been sitting around talking about Ryan and my aunt had a song for us all to listen to. After the song, it seemed like a perfect time to let everyone know that we were expecting. I even called my cousin Beth, who wasn't able to be with us that year, to tell her the news. Good times.
These are all memories that I will never forget. It was such a time of excitement and joy. Yes, we were overwhelmed, especially since we had been told that it could take us six months to get pregnant and it had taken one month, but still, the thoughts of starting our own family were so exciting. Little did we know that in just a few short weeks, we would be sharing some sad news that will forever.
Up next...our insurance drama. Gotta love insurance companies, right???
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Once Upon A Time (Part 2)
We saw two pink lines! I remember that I was wearing a pink sweater and standing in our small bathroom in our Virginia house. It was hard to believe that it was real, especially since we weren't trying and hadn't expected to get pregnant. When we went off birth control, we had been told that it would probably take about 6 months for the medicine to get out of my system, so we were pretty stunned.
It started to sink in little by little. We wanted to tell our parents first, but man, thinking about telling them made me so nervous. I guess I just didn't know what they would say or think. On one Sunday, my parents showed up at the church where Dave was currently working. One of the families had made us a blanket (adult sized) and they made us open the gift in front of the church family. When we pulled it out of the box, the way it was folded made it look like a baby blanket. One of the elders made the comment about it actually being a baby blanket and my mom stood up and said that there was no way that was possible. Little did she know!
(To be continued tomorrow....)
It started to sink in little by little. We wanted to tell our parents first, but man, thinking about telling them made me so nervous. I guess I just didn't know what they would say or think. On one Sunday, my parents showed up at the church where Dave was currently working. One of the families had made us a blanket (adult sized) and they made us open the gift in front of the church family. When we pulled it out of the box, the way it was folded made it look like a baby blanket. One of the elders made the comment about it actually being a baby blanket and my mom stood up and said that there was no way that was possible. Little did she know!
(To be continued tomorrow....)
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Once Upon A Time (Part 1)
I know most of your guys know our story and how we even came to the point that we are interested in adoption, but some of you don't. So, I thought I'd blog about it, a little bit at a time.
Once Upon A Time.....
Dave and I got married in June of 2003. I had gone on birth control before our wedding because we didn't want a honeymoon baby or any early marriage surprise. We wanted kids, but we wanted to wait a while before we started our family. We even told everyone in our family that we would be married for five years before we started having kids. Yeah, that was a joke.
After our first Christmas together with just the two of us, I knew that there was no way that we were waiting five years. I was already getting the "baby itch". At my yearly doctor's appointment that next October of 2004, I mentioned to the doctor that we wanted to start trying and that we were going to go off of the pill. So, she wished us well, gave me tons of information, recommended that I start prenatal vitamins, and I left the office with a huge smile on my face. I knew that it could take a while, one of the reasons that we wanted to go ahead and start trying, but I just knew that babies were in our near future. I had no idea that just a little over a month later, I would take a test and see not one pink line, but two.
(To be continued.....)
Once Upon A Time.....
Dave and I got married in June of 2003. I had gone on birth control before our wedding because we didn't want a honeymoon baby or any early marriage surprise. We wanted kids, but we wanted to wait a while before we started our family. We even told everyone in our family that we would be married for five years before we started having kids. Yeah, that was a joke.
After our first Christmas together with just the two of us, I knew that there was no way that we were waiting five years. I was already getting the "baby itch". At my yearly doctor's appointment that next October of 2004, I mentioned to the doctor that we wanted to start trying and that we were going to go off of the pill. So, she wished us well, gave me tons of information, recommended that I start prenatal vitamins, and I left the office with a huge smile on my face. I knew that it could take a while, one of the reasons that we wanted to go ahead and start trying, but I just knew that babies were in our near future. I had no idea that just a little over a month later, I would take a test and see not one pink line, but two.
(To be continued.....)
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