A Call

After hearing about the baby boy yesterday, I spent a lot of time researching shaken baby syndrome last night and well, the end results normally aren't good. I had every intention of contacting our social worker today and letting her know that we would not be able to take the four month old boy that she had told us about yesterday.

I emailed her and asked when we could have our third home visit, which would complete our home study. She emailed me back and told me that we could meet on June 7th at 3:00. That works out pretty perfectly since we leave for our anniversary trip that afternoon. We can complete our home visit and then head to DC to celebrate our 10th anniversary.

I just couldn't get the baby boy out of my head. While I was determined that we would not take him into our home, my Mommy heart just couldn't let him go. While Nate was in the NICU, there was another baby boy there that never received a single visitor. I felt so bad for him. The nurses there took great care of him, but it's different when there's someone loving on him and spending time with him. I emailed the social worker if anyone was sitting with the baby boy that she had mentioned yesterday.

Her response wasn't about the baby boy.

Instead, she told me about a case that they just received involving a 3 month old baby girl. She, too, is a victim of shaken baby syndrome. She has a fractured skull and is currently in the hospital.

At this point, I'm thinking "What in the world?" We decide to say no to the baby boy and then we find out about a baby girl. Is God trying to tell me something?  I discussed things with Dave and I decide to email her back, saying that while we would be okay with fostering, we aren't sure that we would want to adopt if the case were to move that way. As I'm emailing her, my phone rings.

It's our social worker. She was calling to give me some more information about the baby girl. We still don't know much and won't know more until tomorrow. We have no idea how long she will be in the hospital or if we will be the family that is chosen to love her. What we do know is that we are being pursued as one of the families that could possibly take her.

My heart breaks for this little girl. No child should ever have to suffer such pain and fear, especially at such a young age. At this point, we are leaving it in God's hands. I'm not sure what He has planned. If we are the family chosen for this baby girl, we will love her and protect her and promise her that no one will ever hurt her again. If we are not chosen, we will continue to wait for THE call.

If this is THE call, God sure does provide things quickly! :)

Officially Open

We had our second (of three) home visits needed to complete our home study today. When we filled out the paperwork to begin our classes, we completed a fourteen page biography. The visit today involved going over those biographies and answering lots of questions about our families, backgrounds, jobs, discipline, etc. We also discussed the child(ren) that we would like to accept into our home.

While she was here, she saw the baby room and some of the things that we needed to fix, like the cabinet locks. All is good and has been approved.

As of today, even though our home study isn't 100% completed, our home is officially open if the need arises. If a child needs a home and they found us to be the best match, they would rush the rest of our home study, which is pretty much just paperwork at this point, and we would pick up the child.

This is exactly what happened with our friends that took the class with us that now have the twin girls. They had completed their second home visit, the twins needed a home, and before they knew it, they were the proud foster parents of two twin girls. Sounds simple, right?

I've added a little ticker to the left side of the blog that shows the wait we have to VBK Baby #2! While our call could come tomorrow, it could come months from now. They have no way to predict when a child will need a home. She said they can go months sometimes without any small children needing placement and then there are other times when she has placed three babies in one week. It's just a waiting game. 

While she was here, she told us about a little baby boy that may possibly need a family in the near future. He's currently in the hospital with a lot of injuries and medical issues. It breaks my heart to think about this little boy and the pain he has already been through in his little life. I'm not even sure if we would be considered if and when he needs a home and there are lots of things that we would need to consider before we would say yes.

Lots to think about and consider, trying to calm myself and prepare my heart for the journey ahead. Really trying to soak in these last moments (days, weeks, months maybe) of being a family of 3! 

Stuck Waiting

I was told by a dear friend that I needed to do an update! Dear friend, are you happy? 

As of right now, we're kinda stuck in a waiting game. We have to have two more home visits before our home study can be complete. We have one home visit scheduled for next Tuesday, May 28th, and I'm hoping to be able to schedule the third (and last one) while Ms. Allison in here at our house. I'm ready to have them finished and officially be a waiting family. I hate being stuck waiting and not available if a child needs us.

On Tuesday, we babysat my coworker's twin boys. Right before they came over, I received a text from one of the couples that attended the foster adoption class.  They had twin girls placed with them on Monday. I don't have all the details, but they are pretty young, maybe 4 months old, and are going to be with them for at least 6 months until the parents have another court date. They are super excited and yet, as the mom said, "already on pins and needles."

I am super excited for them, yet I will be honest and admit there there was a twinge of jealousy. Why were they able to complete their home visits so quickly? Would we have been able to get the twins had we been ready? After about a minute of asking why and worrying, I reminded myself that things happen for a reason. Those girls were meant to go with our foster friends and thankfully, they've told us that we can meet up with them and love on their new girls.

Nate was such a big helper when the twin boys were here. He loves those boys and so do we.

 It was so wonderful to have babies in our house. It was a joy to keep them and love on them for a little while.

Tonight, I went through Nate's 0-6 month baby clothes so that I could pick some out to put in the drawers in the nursery. I would love for a little girl to join our VBK family, but as I went through those special clothes, I kept thinking about how I would LOVE a little boy so that he could wear them. They all bring back such sweet sweet memories. :)

I'll try to update next Tuesday after our home visit. Maybe I'll even get around to sharing more pictures this weekend.

Florida Church Buddies

I should have taken a ton of pictures while we were at our old church in Florida, but unfortunately, I didn't.

I did get these, though.

Nate and Bryan.

 Nate and Bryant.
I used to babysit Bryant when he was a baby. So cute to see him carrying my baby. :)

So Many Questions

Facebook status from Saturday: 

Tonight is one of those nights when I have a lot of my mind, when the thoughts of being a loving family to a foster child is both exciting and overwhelming, when I find myself praying for our future child and for our hearts, especially the heart of a three year old little boy.

Tonight, we worked on the baby/kid room. Dave worked hard to remove the cabinets that were in the room and put together the crib and changing table. It is still a major work in progress, but it's really starting to come together.

Tomorrow, we have our last adoption class. We will graduate from the PRIDE classes and now that all of our paperwork has been turned in, we are just two home visits away from being certified as foster/adopt parents. 

As we get closer to getting things ready for our next child, my mind is constantly filled with thoughts of what if, when, and how. How will we all adjust? When will we get the call? What if the baby lives with us for a long time and then returns to their birth family? How long will this nursery stay empty before a child sleeps in this crib?

Trying my best to put my trust in the One who already knows what the future holds for this family. Trying not to be anxious about things that I don't have control over. Trying to breathe and enjoy my family of three.

Dinner with Family

While we were in Florida, we also met up with the family that I nannied for while living in Jax. When I first started working with them, these kids were just babies (not really, but they seemed so little). It was so nice to see them and spend time with them.

Nate with Erin

 Nate and Tina

 Nate got Adam to teach him some karate moves.

Florida Zoo Date with Adoption Friends

Finally posting some pictures! :)

When we went to Florida for Nate's birthday, we met up with some adoption friends at the zoo in Jacksonville.

 These two are quite the pair. Both are full of energy!!

 It makes my heart happy to see Nate and Little Bug together, both adopted and both methadone babies.

 Sweet Pea, Little Bug's little sister, another methadone and adopted baby.

 We attempted to take pictures of all of us, knowing that the pictures would make us laugh because trying to get the three of them together and looking at the camera is a miracle.

So blessed to have awesome friends, especially adoption buddies.