Can't Get You Out of My Mind

Yesterday, while we thought the baby girl was a possibility, I went out cafe shopping with Trish.  On our way there, we stopped by a baby store to just look.  We went in and looked around, with the intention of just browsing and trying to convince myself that I like girl colors, too.  (I'm naturally more drawn towards boy items.)

Right before we left, I saw these two tiny baby boy preemie gowns.  I picked them up and made a comment to Trish about how tiny they were and that they could be (insert our baby boy name)'s size.

After we left and were in the car, Trish made a comment to me about the fact that I had called this March baby boy (insert our baby boy's name).  I honestly hadn't really thought much about it until she mentioned it.  Maybe my heart is more set on this baby boy than I thought.

All day yesterday, even as we looked at girl colors, I could not stop thinking that I should be buying boy clothes for the March baby instead of girl clothes for the Feb baby.  It was a very weird feeling.

All day today, I can't seem to get (insert our baby boy's name) out of my mind.  We have plans to meet with the lawyer tomorrow and I'm just praying that God has everything worked out.

So much for a relaxing Saturday!

I was really looking forward to a relaxing Saturday.  I had visions of sleeping in, spending some time with my authentic friend, Trish, as we cafe shopped, and possibly going to the zoo with Dave.

I did get to sleep in.  :)  I was sleeping so well this morning, until .....

....my phone rang around 10:45 and I didn't recognize the number.  Because I was still half asleep when the call came, I let it go to voicemail.  I listened to my message and oh my, it was about a possible situation.

I had spoken to an another adoption agency here in Jax this past week about a possible situation, which isn't an option for us.  The head lady was calling to tell me that a baby girl is due THIS FRIDAY, February 5th.  The lady wanted to know if we would be interested.  We said yes and that we wanted more info.

Instantly, my feelings were torn.  Yes, this possible baby girl was exciting.  There are some things that are really good about this baby.  I still felt torn, though, when it came to J.  I felt that, if we went with this baby, that we had given her false hope.  Yes, there are things that scare us about J's situation, but I feel connected, not only to her baby boy, but to her and her situation.  I went back and forth with my emotions all afternoon.  Could we do this?  Would we be turning our backs on baby boy and J?  Was I ready to say no to baby boy?

About 4 hours later, I got some more info about baby girl and it doesn't look good.  The situation is good, but there are major concerns when it comes to the health of the baby.  So, while we do plan on getting our profile to the adoption lady, unless we find out that the information is different from what we were told, it is probably a no go.

We are still planning on meeting with the attorney on Monday to talk about J.  I'm hoping that she can "make things work" how we want them to be and how she said she could set them up.

I'll keep you guys updated!!!

Decisions, Decisions!

I do not like to make decisions, especially when they are huge decisions.  In this case, the decision is super huge and there is not a clear right or wrong.  We've prayed about it, thought about it, taken advice from dear friends, etc, and yet, we still do not know the right thing to do.

So, we still haven't made the decision about the March baby.  We are hopefully meeting with the attorney again on Monday and Dave and I made the decision tonight that we need to make our final yes or no at that meeting.

As of last night, we were really leaning towards a no, due to the massive amounts of money we would lose if she changed her mind.  Dave talked with the attorney today and things may have been changed a little, so that if she were to decide to parent, we wouldn't lose any more money that what we would lose if we went through an agency.  So, we will wait until Monday to see the changes and decide.

The February mother has already chosen a couple and we still haven't heard anything about the May mother, although we do know that she still has our profile.

For tonight, I'm just trying to be patient and not stress, not an easy task.

Tuesday Update

Just wanted to give you guys a quick update to let you know that we still haven't made a decision.  This isn't something that is an easy decision or one that is clear cut.  It's a risk either way.

If we move forward with this adoption, we risk losing the money if she decides to parent.  If this happens, we will not be able to pursue adoption/fertility treatments for a few years while we pay off the loan for the adoption.  This makes me weep just thinking about spending more years without the possibility of kids.

If we don't move forward with this adoption, we could possibly be turning down a situation that we were meant to move forward with.  We risk not having a son in March and possibly, not getting the opportunity to adopt for years to come.  Because birth mothers now have the right to choose the adoptive couple, we have no guarantee, unless we go with international adoption.

There's a big part of me that wants to fight for this baby boy, but I'm just so scared.

We have made the decision that we want to meet with the attorney again before we decide, so I plan on calling her tomorrow.

Of course, there's a lot more to this situation than what I have written on this blog or plan to write on this blog.  I know that many of you have emailed me, facebook messaged me, or commented on this blog and I want to answer your questions.  I love knowing that you guys are praying for us and are thinking about us.  I do plan on writing you back and/or answering some of those questions here on the blog, but it's been a long day today.  I'll try to answer those on Thursday since Wednesday is my REALLY long day.

Our Meeting with J

So, after a day filled with nerves, we met with J at 4 this afternoon.  The meeting went really, really well.  She was easy to talk to and get along with.  We got to meet outside and the weather was perfect.  We met for about 45 minutes, talking and getting to know each other.

She's 28 just like us!

Baby is due March 23, but will be born through a c-section a week earlier.

Baby is VERY active!!!

Like I said, it went really, really well, but I'm struggling.

If we do this, if we move forward, we stand to lose a lot if she changes her mind.  In any state, a birthmother can't sign papers until after the baby is born.  This means that we could invest lots of money into this baby and then she could decide to parent at the last minute.

If this were to happen, our dreams of having a family would have to be put on hold for probably 4-5 years while we payed off the loan we're taking out for this adoption.  I just don't know if I'm ready for this.  Am I ready to take that chance?  Will I be able to accept being that childless couple for years to come, paying off a loan when we have nothing to show for it?

Why can't this just be easy??????

Overwhelmed

I know that so many of you are itching to know how our meeting went today.

Know that it went well, really well.

I know, I know...you want more info that that!  haha

I just have so many thoughts going through my head that I can't find the words right now.

I'm going to go relax for a little while and then try to blog around 9:00, so check back soon.

Meeting went well! Will blog about it when I get home and have time to process it all.

We are here! Just waiting for the attorney.

We are on our way to meet J! :)

Just got a call from the attorney. Meeting is set for 4 this afternoom! :) totally nervous!!!!

Just wanted you to know that we haven't heard anything yet. :(

Just testing

Today

I know that a lot of you are as anxious as we are about our meeting with J today.  I'm already getting the butterflies in my stomach and I'm praying that I can focus on school stuff.

We do not know, yet, what time we're going to be meeting.  The attorney told me she would call me in the morning and let me know.  I remembered that I can connect my phone to this blog, allowing me to send a text message post.  I'll try my hardest to do that and keep you guys updated.

This means, though, that if you get email blog updates, you will not be receiving them and that there will not be an update/link on facebook, so you'll have to check it without that.

I would appreciate and LOVE your prayers as we meet the possible mother of our kid.  :)

We Wait

No word about the February baby.  It is the weekend, so I'm hoping to hear something tomorrow.  Even if she sees our profile, it doesn't mean that we will be chosen.

Getting very excited and nervous about meeting J tomorrow.  Just wanted to make it clear that she has seen our profile as well as others and she has chosen us.  The attorney said that J is very happy with her choice, so now, it's more about us deciding if we want to move forward.  There are a few concerns that we have and of course, lots of financial decisions that need to be gone over, but I am feeling pretty confident about this match.  Can't believe that this could be "it".

Dave and I went and looked at baby stuff yesterday.  We enjoyed looking around and testing out strollers, as much as one can enjoy things like that.  haha

We announced our adoption plan this morning to our church family.  Some of them already knew, but it feels good to know that we have our church family praying for us through all of this.

If you have any questions, feel free to comment or email me.  I plan on answering some of them throughout this week.

Thanks for waiting with us and praying for us.  :)

Oh My!

I don't even know what to say other than that you guys must really be praying for us.

So, not only do we still have a birthmother looking at our profile that is due in May, a meeting with a birthmother on Monday that is due in March, but........

...I got an email today from a lady at an agency in the Tampa area (that I had talked with at one point about a possible baby).  She has a birthmother that is looking for a Christian couple that does not have any children and this mother is going to be looking at our profile either tonight or tomorrow.  To make things even more crazy, this birthmother is due in FEBRUARY.

We don't know much about this baby besides the month it is due and the race.  Hoping for more information soon.

I can't even begin to explain the thoughts and feelings I am going through.

Thursday Update

I called the attorney around 12:30 and we are going to meet with her and J on Monday.  It's hard to wait, but yet, after some advice from the attorney, it will give us time to get some questions written down for both the attorney and J.  This way, we don't forget to ask things that we want to know.  So, it's probably for the best.

The attorney did tell me that J is very happy with our profile, so she doesn't see any problems there.  I know that we still have to meet with her and things could change, but it was very encouraging to hear.  Thank you, attorney, for giving me something good to hold on to over the weekend.

I did get an email from BOH, our agency, today.  I hadn't heard a word from them for over a week and then all of the sudden, I get an email.  The birthmother that is looking at our profile still hasn't made a decision and we found out that she isn't due until the beginning of May.  Jenn, the lady at the agency, told me that they also have had more activity lately, meaning that there are other possibilities.

So, for now, we wait, knowing that not only does one birthmother want to meet us and has "chosen" us, but we still have another birthmother looking at us as well.  Looking forward to seeing God work through all of this.

Just Because

I'm blogging just because I know that some of you are itching to know if we've heard anything!!!

No calls from the attorney today.
Now, she did call me the other night at 8:45, so I guess I could still get one tonight, but I'm not holding my breath.  So, for now, we're still waiting to hear when we'll be able to meet with J and get more info.

There are pieces of me that want to shout from the rooftops and to go shopping and pick out paint colors, but there are also pieces of me that are very cautious and hesitant and refuse to allow me to get my hopes up.

Adoption is scary stuff.  It's not for the fainthearted.  Even if everything goes well with J, even if we move forward, even if we decorate the nursery, buy the baby stuff, etc, etc, she still has the right to change her mind once the baby is born.  There is no guarantee and this scares me, a lot.  I would be lying if I told you that I wasn't scared out of my mind.  (I do plan on writing a blog about all of this-her rights, our rights, etc.-soon, since I know many of you have questions.)

I just have to remind myself that there is no guarantee in getting pregnant either.  Pregnant people miscarry, babies are born with horrible illnesses and defects, some babies die before they are even born and have to be delivered, never to take their first breath, even though their bodies look perfect.

In life, we take chances, some big and some little.  For this, for the chance to be a family of three, I will buckle up and ride this emotional roller coaster, even if it takes my breath and throws me for a loop.  :)

I forgot

I forgot to mention, that if everything works out, then we are "due" on March 23, 2010!!!!!!

Still in a bit of shock.

Still trying to remind myself that we have a lot of red tape between now and then.

Still trying to be realistic, even though I want to run to the baby aisle and buy boy clothes.

Still trying to remember that God is in control and that even if this doesn't work out, that He still has a plan.

Still realizing that I may have a son in March!  :)

Pround to Announce

So.........

I am proud to announce that...........




....... we are potentially matched with a birthmom!!!!!!!!!!

There are still many, many things that need to be worked out and information we need to know before we sign any papers or commit to anything, but I got a phone call today from the attorney telling me that we had been chosen by a birthmom, who I am going to call J.  I even got to speak with J on the phone.  We are going to be meeting with J and the attorney either later this week or early next week and we'll go from there. 

For now, it feels surreal.  I'm trying not to get too excited, knowing that we still need to meet and discuss many things, but wow.  It's hard to believe that this might be my son!!!  By the way, it's a boy!!!!!!!  :) 

Monday Update: Lots of Info

I'm sorry if you've been holding your breath waiting for me to update.  Dave got home on Friday and wasn't feeling well.  We left early Saturday for a winter retreat with our teens and didn't get home until Sunday night.  Needless to say, we're both pretty exhausted and right now, I feel like the laundry will never end.  :(

We still haven't heard anything from the agency or attorney.  No calls or emails.  If I get a chance, I'm going to call tomorrow and see if I can get an update.

Here's just a few reminders/info about the above situations:

Agency-Last we heard, our profile was being looked at by a mother living in a maternity home.  The original news was that it could possibly be a baby and an older toddler sibling, but they were unsure if both would be place, or even placed together.  No idea on due date or gender.  

Attorney-I met with an attorney last Monday about a possible baby.  This baby is due March 23rd and is a boy.  We do know, however, that this baby may have issues due to the mother being on drugs (Doctor given).  When I left the attorney's office, I was told that our profile as well as another couple's profile were going to be looked at and the attorney would let me know the outcome.  We have done some research of the drug side effects and it appears that while the baby may go through some withdrawal issues at birth, that there are no long term effects.  We'll have to make a decision if we are chosen.

Dave and I have also started to consider international adoption.  When we first started this journey, as some of you know (and if you read the beginning of the blog, you'll see it) that we were going to adopt a baby this past October domestically (in the US) and it fell through about a month before the baby arrived.  That started our journey looking for opportunities in America.  I've made a call to an agency that deals with domestic and international adoptions to get info.  We're not ready to make any decisions about that quite yet, but it's very interesting and definitely an option.

I did get a call this morning from the contact that we have through the local hospital.  A baby was born over the weekend.  According to what we know, a mother walked into the ER, had the baby, was discharged, and left.  The baby will be put up for adoption.  We do know that the baby is perfectly healthy, but we do not know any specifics (gender, size, etc).  I called the social worker to get info, but was unable to get in contact with her, possibly due to it being a holiday.  Hopefully, I'll get in touch with her tomorrow to learn if this baby is still available and get more info.

Thanks for all of your prayers and words of encouragement.  Hopefully, I'll find out something tomorrow, even if these situations are a no.  It's hard to wait and be patient.

Heart Opening

A very short update:

Still no word on both of the situations that we are involved with.  :(

In the last two days, my heart has been opened.  I'm making a few phone calls tomorrow and when I know more, I'll give you guys more info.

One last thing: Can I just say WOW???  Since New Year's Eve (close to midnight), my blog has been looked at 1,500 times.  I'm not saying that I'm awesome in any way shape or form, but I must say that it's exciting to know that people are reading our journey and learning about the struggles of adoption.  I can't wait to see what God has planned.

A Loss for Words

It's been a long day and I just can't seem to find the energy or the words to write all of the stuff that I need to in order to update properly.  I'm really sorry, but I just can't.

Here are a few quick things for those of you "itching" to find out what's going on:

• No word from the agency about the mother looking at our profile.  No emails or calls.  Nothing.  :(

• We did find out about another baby yesterday (not through our agency, but through a connection we have).  I can't really say much now, but there is a baby boy due in March.  Our concern is that there may be some health issues due to things that happened during the pregnancy and we're just not sure if we're ready for that.  We don't know all the details that we need in order to make a decision and we're doing research on what we do know.  Not sure at this time what will happen.  Looking forward to getting some more info from the attorney that I spoke with yesterday.  

Thank you for all your prayers.  When I get more time and a less stressful day, I'll try to update more.  

What a Day!

I have so much that I need to say about things, but my computer is dying quickly (my power cord is at school) and I can't stay on for more than a few minutes.  :(

No word from the agency.  Plan on calling them tomorrow to see if anything has changed.

Got info today on another possibly baby through an attorney.  I know I'm leaving you hanging, but until I have power, that is just going to have to do.

Red and Yellow, Black and White

Dave left me.  :(  Not permanently or anything.

He left just a little less than an hour ago and will be gone for the week to a minister's convention in South Carolina.  When we first got married, it was really hard for me to stay by myself, especially to get a good night's sleep, but I've improved greatly since then.  Just not a fan of being alone.  I know that he looks forward to this week all year and I look forward to him getting excited about going.  (Just between you and me, he packed enough stuff for like 10 people.  haha  He's going to be mad at me for saying that.)

Still no word from the agency, but for now,  I have to be okay with that.

While we wait, I wanted to give you the link to a blog post that I read a while ago that I would love for you to read.  It's about an issue that I've wanted to discuss.  Building the Blocks!

Patience

I'm trying to be patient.  Trying!

Still haven't heard anything more since the email yesterday letting us know that she hasn't chosen anyone yet.  I figure that we won't hear anything until Monday, since the office is closed on the weekends.

In the past. all of the possible VBK baby info came from attorneys or through our social worker Lori, but this one is different since it's going through the agency.  In the previous cases, we've known specifics, due dates, health of birth parents, their job situations, family backgrounds, etc.  It's hard to go from being so informed to not really knowing much at all.

Thank you for all of your prayers and words of encouragement as we wait to find out if this is Baby VBK.

Suggestions???

So, sitting at Applebees the other night, Dave and I were trying to come up with a design and/or wording for a t-shirt for Dave to design for our VBK fund.  Any suggestions?  We have some ideas, but nothing definite.

We got an email today from the agency saying that the birth mother still hasn't chosen a profile yet, which is good for us, meaning it is still a possibility.  She said she'd let us know when something happened, but for now, we don't have any new info.  Probably won't hear anything until Monday.

A Little More and Kate

While I love being a teacher, a nanny after school, and then meeting my hubby for dinner, I do not enjoy getting home at 9:00 on a night when I have stuff to get accomplished before heading to bed.  Oh well, such is life.

Just wanted to let you know that while we did find out the race of the baby, we still do not have any more new information on due date, situation details, etc.  From what I know, she has not chosen an adoptive family, which is good for us, because that means that we are still a possibility.  I am just praying about it and trying not to get my hopes up.  I spent the drive to my nanny job this afternoon in prayer about it (don't worry-I didn't drive with my eyes closed).  Just trying to trust that God will provide, even if this baby isn't Baby VBK.

Kate McRae

I did want to pass on this prayer request.  I've been following this family's story since they first found out that their daughter, Kate, had cancer.  She has been through numerous treatments and found out today that while the tumor does appear to be shrinking, it is still very large.  Here's the website:  www.prayforkate.com

Nothing and Apologies

Just wanted to let everyone know that we haven't heard anything about the situation we learned about yesterday.  I know that they were meeting with the birthmother today, so I'm guessing that it took a while and that is why I didn't get an email.  Hoping to hear something tomorrow.

I'm sorry if I worried anyone with my comment about this situation being scary.  No one is in danger or anything like that, but I will let you know that this particular situation not only involves an infant, but could possibly involve a sibling that is a toddler.  For me, that is scary.  Yes, it would be awesome, but the adjustment for us going from no kids to two kids would be very overwhelming, "scary",  and hard considering the toddler would have lots of adjustments to go through.  So, again, I am sorry if I worried you.  :)

New Puppy, BOH, and Possibilities

We got a new puppy!!!!  

Isn't he cute???  His name is Rufus, or so his collar says, and he was given to us by some dear friends that know that we are saving money to pay for the adoption of Baby VBK!  :)  Not only will he help us out as we save money, even our change, but I can't wait for him to be a part of Baby VBK's nursery someday.  I love him!!!  Welcome to the family, Rufus.  

BOH is our agency and I have no idea why I don't feel comfortable sharing their name on my blog.  Most of you already know it or can figure it out pretty easily, but I do know that keeping it off of my blog stops it from coming up when the agency is searched on an internet search.  Who knows as to why I feel this way.  

(I am sorry this isn't the best pic, but I just snapped this pic on my way out of the parking lot.)

I stopped by BOH, our agency, after school today to drop off our corrected profiles.  (The profile story is a super long story and not at all exciting, so I'll spare you the details for now.)  I got to talk with Jenn, who deals with the adoptive families and I got more information.  The mother in Naples that I mentioned a while back did pick another family from the agency, so that closes that door for us.  

She did share this with me:  

There is a mother that the head lady is talking to tomorrow and our profile, along with others, is being shown to her TOMORROW.  There are things that I do know about this situation that are exciting and scary (not fear, but rather, the oh wow scary), but I don't want or feel that I can share them on the blog at this time.  I know, I'm leaving you hanging on the edge of your seats, right?  :)

Jenn said that she would call or email me with more information after their meeting tomorrow.  So, please, please, please pray.  PLEASE!!!!  If nothing else, pray that I can sleep well tonight and not think about it every waking minute tomorrow.  So far tonight, it's been on my mind almost constantly.  I had planned on coming home and getting lots accomplished, but when Dave suggested a movie around 7:30, I thought a movie night sounded wonderful, so not much has been done.  Oh well, it at least occupied my mind for a while.  

Again, please, please, please pray!!!!  

A Moving Post

The other day, I was reading one of the blogs I follow and was moved by Laurie's words as she wrote her new post.  I wanted to share what she wrote, as most of it (not all of it, due to the fact that I haven't adopted yet) beautifully conveys how I feel.  (And yes, I got permission.)


Enjoy!


Here's what Laurie wrote:


"For as long as I can remember ya'll know I wanted to be a mom. Only I thought that would happen the way it does for everyone else- through conception, pregnancy, and childbirth. I believed it was my greatest calling and accomplishment as a woman to be given the privilege of ushering new life into this world. My body would finally do something right instead of always being my nemesis as it has been since I was a child. I was never able to skate, turn cartwheels, cheer lead, do gymnastics, run a marathon, or even fit in a tiny pair of jeans! My body always worked against me. I thought well one day I'll be excited to wear baggy shirts and these hips will come in handy in childbearing! But no. My body couldn't even do that. And this has been a dream unfulfilled that I have clung to bitterly for years. Sure, the sting of it is not always there. I have made peace with God about how He chose to bring my children to me. I even feel deep, deep gratitude for His love in caring so deeply about my heart's desire to mother that he brought a daughter to me as a newborn, and allowing me to witness her entrance into this world. And I feel immense pride when I see Isaac's sweet brown face and I know there is no way he could have ever come from my body and been this perfect.

But when I see a woman, swollen around the middle, glowing with the mystery of what is inside her...when I hear about the excitement that her mother has in welcoming a new grandchild into the fold... when I think about breastfeeding and all it's ups and downs- I feel the sting, and it is sharp and comes without warning. It is the pain of a dream unfulfilled. You see for me there will never be a big "Guess What?" announcement that brings joy and excitement to those I share it with. If and when we announce that God will be blessing us with another member of the family, unlike pregnancy, this is seen as a choice. And it is. It takes much planning and requires lots of paperwork. Nevertheless, when the day comes that we begin the process all over again, the questions will swirl..."are you sure this is the right time? Do you have room? How will you support another one? Aren't you content with the two you have? How will you pay for the adoption? How?....Why?....When?" You see this is the reaction most common amongst those of us who build our family through adoption. And likely there will not be a convenient 40 weeks to figure that all out! There will be no one bringing balloons and flowers to the hospital to welcome our little one into the world and family. Only one dear friend came for Vivi. Oh they were invited, mind you. But we faced that one alone. Why? Because of the "what if's" I suppose. What if the birthmother doesn't place? What if it is awkward meeting the birth family? What if? Hey we asked ourselves those very questions...but would not have missed those moments for the world. And I know stating these words stem from selfish desires and possibly offends. The fact is we all have let down the ones we love in one way or another. I am all too guilty of that very thing. I thank my Lord for His forgiveness in my own shortcomings that I too may forgive others."


Thank you, Laurie!  :)

Time is Ticking Away

You may have noticed that I added a few new things on the left side of my blog, two for those being "tickers."  One is counting the time that has passed since we completed our home study and the other counting the time that has passed since we turned our official profile into the local agency here in Jax.  

Wow-As of today, we've had our home study completed for exactly two months and we've had our profile at the agency for exactly three weeks.  :)

What is crazy is that it feels like forever and I mean that in all honesty.  When I first put up the second ticker, I thought I was going crazy.  I double checked my phone log to check the date to make sure.  I feel as if it's been three months, not three weeks.  I know that it will all happen in due time, that we will receive a wonderful call one day that either a baby is waiting for us or that we are matched, but I'm learning that I'm not very patient at all!!!!!

I know that if we decided to get pregnant today (well, maybe not us, but a very fertile couple), it still might be weeks before the timing was right or until e those two pink lines would appear on a pregnancy test.  If we got pregnant today, we would still have to wait nine months before the baby arrived.

I think what it comes down to...is control.

With our own bodies, we have some control.  Obviously, for Dave and I, things just aren't happening as the textbooks would say, but for many, they can choose at what time they want to get pregnant (or at least a timeframe) or for the most part, prevent it from happening (Dave and I are pros at this).  Knowing that we not only have to wait for a pregnant mother to contact the agency, but then to have to pick our profile out of the all of the others that she sees, makes me realize that I have pretty much NO control.  I'm having to depend upon God and trust that His plan is the right one, even though it may not be the one that we think or "fit" into our timeframe.

A Recommendation

(Picture taken from http://www.crossway.org/product/9781581349115)

I wanted to share the name of a book that I totally recommend.  It's one that a fellow adoption blogger sent my way and I'm so thankful they did.

The great thing is that it's not just for people that are adopting, but rather a book for the church about the importance of recognizing our own adoption into God's family and the importance of earthly adoption as a part of God's command.

Here's the description of the book as taken from http://www.crossway.org/product/9781581349115

"The gospel of Jesus Christ—the good news that through Jesus we have been adopted as sons and daughters into God’s family—means that Christians ought to be at the forefront of the adoption of orphans in North America and around the world.

Russell D. Moore does not shy away from this call in Adopted for Life, a popular-level, practical manifesto for Christians to adopt children and to help equip other Christian families to do the same. He shows that adoption is not just about couples who want children—or who want more children. It is about an entire culture within the church, a culture that sees adoption as part of the Great Commission mandate and as a sign of the gospel itself."

Follow Your Heart

My mom gave me this necklace for Christmas and it is quite possibly one of my favorite gifts because through this adoption journey, my mom has told me to follow my heart when it comes to making decisions. The back piece holds a picture and right now, it contains a piece of paper saying Baby VBK. One day, after following my heart, I can't wait to put a picture of the real Baby VBK in it.

(This is part of my 365 project, where I'm trying to take one picture each day.

http://365project.org/)  

Praying in 2010!

So, the new year has started and it's officially 2010.   It's crazy to think that yet another year has come and gone.

I spent my New Year's night alone, well, without another human.  Roscoe and Annabelle were here to keep me company.  I was supposed to go to a lock in, but things didn't work out, mainly due to not feeling well.  I ended up coming home, resting for a bit, and then I did what everyone does when they are home alone on New Years....I rearranged our living room furniture.  :)  I just needed a change and it's something I had been thinking about.  Not sure if I like it yet, but we'll see.

Dave called this morning to let me know that I needed to come pick him up and to let me know that our car had been broken into.  A little over a week ago, our car broke down in the church parking lot.  We tried jumping it and it made it to the entrance for the parking lot, but didn't get any farther.  Because it was right before we left for Virginia, we just left it there.  Well, I guess someone finally decided that they needed to see what was inside and busted out the driver side window, the exact same window that was busted out about 2 years ago one day while I was at school.  The funny thing is that there was nothing of value in the car.  They didn't take anything, not even the few CDs that were in the car!!!!  We filed a police report and thankfully, because we saved the receipt, the part that we need to make the car work is covered by a warranty.  :)  Hopefully, insurance will be able to help us replace the window.

On the adoption front, we're working on finding ways to raise money.

I looked into the tax-deductible option, but it appears that in order for this to work, you must be involved with an agency that accepts this or open a bank account with an adoption loan company and go through them.  I'm going to continue to look, but it seems that is not an option for us.

We are thinking about designing a t-shirt and maybe some bracelets.  I thought of putting something like "Praying for Dave and Jen in 2010!" on the bracelets.  I'm sure Dave will come up with some cool design for the t-shirt.  Our problem is that we wouldn't want to order too many and not make a profit, so we're looking for companies and products we can order in lower numbers.  We'll see how it goes.

We are selling DVDs right now.  I also plan on selling my film camera and a few other things.

We haven't heard anything from anybody in the last few days about possible adoption situations.  After hearing about so many, it is somewhat depressing not hearing anything, but I do know that many of them were not in the office this week due to the holidays, so I just have to trust that God is in control.

I just keep praying that this year will be our year, the year when we become a family of 3!

Well, I need to get moving and try to get some things accomplished.  I've got school work to do and while I do love my job, it's sad to think that my break is coming to an end so quickly.