Here's a question for you while we wait for N's arrival:
What is one piece of advice that you would give first time parents?
(Something that worked, something to avoid, words of wisdom, etc)
Can't wait to read your answers.
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21 comments:
ummm.... the black poop does go away so don't freak out too much.
hold and rock and sing as much as you want! it's some of the best times
Patience--it can be hard to find, especially when you find yourself frazzled and not sure what to do with a crying baby. If you're stressed out, he will feed off it. Sometimes you'll just need to walk away. It's ok. Put him in a safe place (crib) and take a minute to yourself. Stop what you're doing, take a deep breath or two, calm down, and refocus. You'll both need it.
We're routing for you guys and know you'll be amazing parents!!
"Bag Balm" it comes in the pet section at walmart...hands down the best diaper rash ever...worked on all three, they were better in hours. :) Best advice: do whats works best for and with you three, everyone has their own bit of info to share. Don't feel like you have to try everything everybody else does, you will know what works best for your little man. Rest when he rests!
savor the time while he is little. they get grow up too fast!
Swaddle!
Well, actually, Ariel loved it, but I hear some babies hate it. We used the 5 S's in the Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp, but we didn't get the book till later. There's lots of info online that got us through.
It's gonna be great!! So excited for you guys!!
Read "Babywise"! I probably should have mentioned that before now. It was a life saver when Clare was a newborn, and I have a ton of friends who also swear by it. It will help get your life with your new baby in a routine and have him sleeping through the night by 8 weeks old.
Also, I'm sure you've heard it before...but sleep when he sleeps! Exhaustion is the worst part in the beginning, just keep telling yourself this too shall pass. :)
You'll do fine! Babies are the easiest...once you get them sleeping all night!
Melody
Jennifer-
Attachment parenting all the way. Dr. Sears has a book. Getting a baby on a routine is important but a schedule of eating and sleeping by the clock is not best even if your friend says her baby slept through the night at 7 weeks. Go with your instincts (they kick in really fast) and don't fret about the small stuff. Hold him, wear him when you can, feed him when he is hungry, and if he doesn't reach all the milestones your friends babies are reaching it is OK! :) Have fun. The first year flies by.
Listen and watch your child. It will give you signs of what it needs. It' s just a matter of understanding what you're being told. Be patient and don't worry about your child offending others. Remember everyone has either been a child or has had one at one time or another and they know what you're going through. I guess I better stop, you did say only one:) Love you FIVE!
Dad #2
okay get a book, We had Baby 411. I know that they tell you not to read the books but with Libby that saved us so much....sometimes it worried us but it did save us from calling our mothers in the middle of the night! Pray, laugh, cry and pray again!
I pray that all goes well! Oh and go out with Dave and do something that you could never do with kids. It will be awhile before you can do that again! Love ya- Stephanie Askew
trust your instincts! Don't worry about all the different parenting styles, and just do what you feel is right. Every parent and every baby is different, and only YOU will know what your baby needs.
And yes the black poop will definitely go away, but it goes from black to green, and then yellow. We were so glad once it was all out, it was like tar to clean up! Oh and watch out for the pee pee, he's gotten us a few times! :)
So excited for you, can't wait to see pictures!
Follow through on your "promises". Be consistent! Be consistent! Be consistent!
You are going to be great parents! SO excited for you!
You won't spoil that sweet boy by holding and cuddling him, so do it!! And the pre-soaped washcloths are the most amazing inventions for babies. I've started giving them at baby showers because they're seriously amazing - you can wash with one hand while the other hand holds your baby.
You will soon have more well-intended advise than you know what to do with....probably take some of it and graciously decline the rest.
Follow your parental instincts and continue to seek Christ's wisdom and things will continue to fall into place.
It is exciting to see our God at work throughout your journey.
Thank you for sharing.
Rest when you can, sleep when the baby sleeps, otherwise you will never sleep. The first 2 months are the worst, you'll be a zombie, but it gets better!
have him with you in your bedroom for the first couple of months.
I loved "Happiest Baby on the Block", it was very helpful in getting Cam to sleep. Try and enjoy those middle of the night hours - they really do fly by and can be some very special times. Take lots of pictures (which I know you'll do) and write down the adorable, funny, and crazy moments b/c you'll want to re-live them:) Trust your first instinct - take others' advise, but do what feels natural to you. You are going to be awesome parents and we are sooooo excited for all three of you!
I COMPLETELY agree with Laurie! Do what is best for you and your family. Sleep when sweet little N sleeps...everything else will get done at some point!
"On Becoming Baby Wise" By Gary Ezzo
Swaddler Blankets
White noise sound machine
Jenn, thanks for asking this question. I have enjoyed your blog and can't wait to watch your family grow. So fun to be able to respond and share with you guys, as I have learned so much from you in these past months.
It's hard to answer this question because I believe the opposite of what a lot of people are saying. There is no such thing as spoiling a newborn! His wants are his needs. Use your momma-gut and everything will be fine. Get a Moby Wrap--best thing ever. Don't be afraid of the family bed. It if works for you and everyone gets more sleep, why not? There's so much pressure out there. Do what feels right for you.
Here's a link that was eye-opening to me as we were trying to make some decisions when Ashton was born. It was so liberating to know that I could trust my instinct and he would be okay.
http://ezzo.info/
Anything by Dr. Sears might be great reading if my thoughts are in line with your leanings.
I hope I'm not overwhelming you. Whatever you choose, I know it will be the best choice for you and your sweet boy. Big hugs!!
Jenny McManus
My two best bits of advice are these:
- Remember that you are not the first to tread these waters. Don't feel like you are the only one feeling or experiencing something, no matter how crazy it seems at the time. Seek out those you respect and ask for help.
- Remember that other people's ignorance is not your responsibility, nor does it reflect on you as a mother or as a person. There is something about adoption and babies that make people feel like not only is their opinion valid, but it is necessary to share. Don't shut yourself off to advice that might be helpful, but guard your heart against that which is not. You will meet people that don't seem to have a filter between their brain and their mouth, those are the ones to ignore!
I wholeheartedly agree with Laurie and Jenny! Attachment parenting....Dr. Sears....babywearing...co-sleeping...all of it! My best advice is to follow your instincts and do what is right for you and your family. You'll get a LOT of advice but only you will know your baby and you will know what is best for him! I can't wait to meet little N!
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