We decided to go and visit some of the nurses that took care of N while he was in the NICU. We haven't been there since the day that we took him home, six weeks after he was born. It was weird to be there, carrying N through the halls. So many memories went through my head, memories of happiness and sadness.
I remember...
..standing with my ear pressed against the crack in the door of the waiting area hearing him crying seconds after his birth.
...getting a hospital bracelet, letting the world know that he was mine.
...seeing my baby boy for the very first time and then watching him through the nursery window for hours.
...making phone calls in the hallway outside of the nursery, telling our friends and family the news about our little man.
...being the first one to hold him and realizing that our dream of being parents was coming true.
...spending that first night cuddling with him in the hospital room with him and J.
...feeling helpless as they admitted him into the NICU and hearing him scream as they put the feeding tube in his nose.
...realizing that the few days that we were told that he might need to stay would probably be weeks and maybe months.
...sitting in the NICU with J, watching her kiss him and tell him how much she was going to miss him.
...hearing the words that J had signed the final paperwork and that he was officially our son.
...my heart breaking as we spoke with J after she signed the paperwork. As happy as I was that N was ours, it hurt to see her hurting. We'd gotten to know each other pretty well, not only in the time leading up to his birth, but in the time that I spent with her those first days after he was born. I was with her when she was in major pain, was there when she needed help to the bathroom, was there to talk to her in the crazy hours of that morning when we were both awake.
...crying like a baby as I called my mom to let her know that J had signed the paperwork.
...sitting in that NICU for countless hours, taking care of the little man. Some days, we would get to hold him for hours, other days we had to let him sleep in his bed and we would leave without getting to hold him.
...feeling exhausted after working all day and wishing that N was home so that I could hold him in the comfort of my own home without having to sit in the cold NICU.
...feeling like he would be a year old before he would ever come home.
...the beeps from the many monitors in the NICU.
...getting upset at some of the NICU nurses as they gave him high scores. (If only I'd known then what I know now. haha)
...meeting countless families and getting attached to the babies that were around us.
...realizing, one day, that all of the babies that had been in the NICU when we'd arrived had been discharged and we were still there.
...taking an Easter basket to the nurses, letting them know how much we appreciated them.
...getting the call that we could bring him home the next day.
...seeing the monitors being turned off when it was time to go home. Such a sweet sight to see him without wires attached.
...getting wheeled out of the hospital, with our little man in my arms.
This time, on our way into the hospital, he got to ride on Daddy's shoulders. :)
These nurses were SOOO happy to see him. The nurse in front was one that took care of him a lot and she kept saying that seeing him had made her day. They see lots of babies with issues like N, but they rarely get to see them after they leave. The nurse in the back is the one that discharged us that blessed day that we got to bring him home.
We plan on going back soon to see even more of the nurses that took care of our little man.
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2 comments:
oh this is just such a tender post
We're planning on doing the same thing the week after Thanksgiving - we have to take Sophie to Brenner's for her GI appointment, and plan on making a pit-stop at the NICU. She was sooooo sick when she was there, and tiny when we left, that I can't wait for her special nurses to see her healthy and smiling! It sometimes feels surreal to remember our time there b/c we jumped back into the "real world" so quickly. I love when my patients come back to see me, so I figured her nurses would feel the same:)
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