3/21 Update

Today was a much better day than yesterday.  :)

Just in case you didn't see my last update (since I did it through my phone).
N weighed in today at 6 lbs. 13 oz.  While we don't want him to lose weight, they are not too concerned with this since he hadn't eaten much at all yesterday and with his tremors, he loses weight through burning calories.

Right now, they give the babies scores after each meal and we want low numbers.  Yesterday, N scored a 17, which was not very good.  Today, when we got there, his score was a 10 and by the time we left, he had moved down to a 6.  Once he moves down to a 4 or below, they will reduce his dose of meds and then we start all over again.  His scores will probably go back up when they reduce the meds and then we'll work on bringing them back down until it's time to reduce his dose again.  It's just a matter of time.

He was much more at ease today and didn't seem to be in any pain.  Still has some tremors, but nothing like before.  He had a good poop diaper saved just for me.  I told another NICU mom that it's amazing when we celebrate things like taking 15 ml of formula and seeing "good" poop.

It's amazing to hold him and look at him, knowing that I love him so much and he didn't even come from my own body and doesn't share my blood.  He felt like mine since the moment I heard him crying.  I am in love.

We are looking forward to tomorrow, the day that J will sign the papers, as much as one can.  My heart breaks for her and just thinking about her sacrifice brings tears to my eyes.  She loves him so much and just wants what is best for him.  Breaks my heart.  I have nothing but respect for her.

So, please pray for her tomorrow, for us, and for everyone involved.  Pray that all will go as planned.

Thanks for all of your thoughts, prayers, and words of encouragement.  It's so nice to get home and have emails and comments that let me know that you guys care.