Please Pray!

It's been a rough day.  I would love to tell you that everyone is full of smiles and baby giggles, but that's not the case.   I have cried like a baby tonight.  I could cry again just typing this.  I'm emotionally exhausted.  

I thought about not telling you guys a lot, but I decided that you guys need to know some basics.  You've been our support through this with your words of encouragement and prayers and right now, we need your prayers.  N needs your prayers.  

First, papers are going to wait to be signed until Monday.  While I don't fear her changing her mind, the longer we wait, the more anxious/nervous I get.  I will rejoice when papers are in my hands and he's officially mine.  

Second...and here is where we really need prayer.  I mentioned, at one time, that N might go through some withdrawal symptoms due to a doctor prescribed medicine that J was taking during her pregnancy.  Throughout the first 24 hours of N's life, we saw a few things that made us think that he would go through somewhat of a withdrawal, but at the same time, we were feeling very positive about the fact that all seemed well.  He seemed to be beating it and that he would be fine.  

Today, after Dave and I left around 11:30, while he was in the nursery, he started to really struggle with some of the symptoms.  J called me and told me that he has been moved to the NICU Step Down.  He's having some trembling or being jittery, is sneezing, and is really struggling with keeping food in his belly, all symptoms of the withdrawal.  He is hungry and will eat, but 9 times out of 10, it comes right back up.  

Only two of us are allowed back at a time in the NICU Step Down and only J, Dave, and I are allowed to hold him.  When Dave and his mom went back, Dave tried to feed him, but he continued to spit it back up.  After they left, they put in a feeding tube through his nose and when Dave's dad and I went in, they had just fed him through the feeding tube and he lost it all again.  :(  His blood sugar is holding steady and he did have a dirty diaper while I was in there (and yes, I got to change the lovely tar poop diaper), but he continues to get sick after eating.  

At this time, his hospital stay is unknown.  It could be a week, a month, or even a couple of months.  It breaks my heart to see him in pain and uncomfortable and know that there isn't really anything that we can do to keep him from hurting.  I already cried many tears tonight.  When we got home, I was looking through baby clothes, and realizing that if his hospital stay is long, he won't even get the chance to wear some of the little stuff.  

Please pray!  Please pray that his little body will be strong, that the withdrawal won't be horrible and he won't be in pain.  Pray that Dave and I will be strong.  Pray for J as she continues to feel guilt over him hurting and also pray that she will have peace when it comes time to sign the papers on Monday.   

Dave and I are headed back up there in the morning and as soon as I can, I will give you guys an update.