Are You A Perfect Mom?

Are you a perfect mom or do you know one? We all know them, right?  They are the ones that always seem to have it together, the ones that are constantly showing pictures of their loving children perfectly behaving.  Their children are always dressed in their best clothing and their hair is perfect.  Not only that, but the mom is an excellent cook, super crafty, and has everything amazingly organized. 

I will admit it.  I am not the perfect mom and I'm 100% okay with that. 

Recently, our friend Shannon, who watched Tater for us when I worked last year, entered the world of blogging.  Her goal with her blog, The Realistically Imperfect Mom, is to blog about real life, to show the good and the bad.  I love reading her stories of the things that have happened in her day, things that real moms deal with. 

And now to share five things (there are way more) that prove that I'm not the perfect mom:

1.  I feel like I'm constantly doing laundry and because of this, if you were to come visit, you would almost always find some laundry in the laundry baskets that are on the bed in our loft.

2.  I rarely dress up anymore.  Most days, you'll find me wearing just a t-shirt and shorts.

3.  To be even more honest with you, I go to J and B's house without any make up on about half of the time.  Poor Shelly has seen me looking pretty rough.  haha

4.  I'm not a great cook.  I can make some things and I'm not horrible, but it's not something that I enjoy.  I'd much rather spend that time doing something else. 

5.  About half of the time, I nap while Tater naps.  I should probably be doing something productive, but sometimes sleep sounds like a way better idea. 

Flashback Friday

Both of these pictures were taken when Gramma and Papa came down to Florida for Tater's VBK Forever Day in August 2010. 

Adoption Poem

The Legacy of a Child in an Open Adoption

By Brenda Romanchick

Once there were two expectant mothers.
One carried and cared for you beneath her beating heart
She became your Birthmother.
The other carried the hope of you within her.
She became your Mom.
As the days passed, and you grew bigger and stronger,
Your Birthmother knew that she could not give you all you needed after
your birth.
Meanwhile, your Mom was ready and waiting for you.

One day your Birthmom and your Mom found each other.

They looked into each other’s eyes and saw a friend.
Your Birthmom saw the life your Mom could give you.
Your Mom saw how much your Birthmom loved and cared for you.

They decided that what you needed was both kinds of love in your life.

So now you have two families,
One by birth, the other by adoption.

And you have a home where you can get:
your questions answered,
your boo boos bandaged,
your heartaches soothed,
And much needed hugs.

And a place where you can find:
answers to your questions,
your image in the mirror,
a part of yourself,
And much needed hugs.

Two different kinds of families
Two different kinds of love
Both a part of you.


© Copyright 1999 Brenda Romanchik - R-Squared Press

Mother's Day

Know what I forgot to do on Mother's Day?  Get a picture of me and the boy.  :( 

We spent some time over at Gramma and Papa's house.  Brennen and Beth were in town and the boys had fun playing together.  Before they left town, we put the kids in their swimming trunks and let them play in the sprinkler in the backyard. 

 I had to get a picture of this flower.  Isn't it beautiful?

 My crazy fearless boy. 

 Dave taking the boys through the sprinkler.  Love their expressions.

Withdrawal Babies

A few weeks ago as I was resting in bed before going to sleep, I checked my phone to make sure that I didn't have any missed calls or emails and when I did this, an article in the news section on my phone caught my attention.

I clicked on the article and it took me to this video.

Watching this video is hard because my Tater was one of those babies and it reminds me of the pain that he went through.  He had all the symptoms that the doctor describes in this video.  His little body had tremors like the babies in this video and honestly, his were a lot stronger than the ones you see here.  When he wasn't swaddled, his little arms and legs would shake.  It is sad to remember those rough days, to remember how helpless he was.  

 Even when he wasn't crying, he always had a furrowed brow, a sign that he was in pain and going through withdrawals. 

 He spent the first six weeks of his life tightly swaddled about 20+ hours a day.

We spent a ton of time sitting in the less than comfy recliner caring for our boy.  If we arrived and he was already asleep, we had to leave him in his isolette because picking him up would upset him. 

While he was in the NICU, we did everything we could to get him home faster.  We wanted him home, but boy were we naive.   We assumed that when they let him go home that his withdrawals would be over, but we were so wrong.  Yes, there were good moments, but we had lots of these moments. 

He wasn't the typical baby.  He didn't know how to self soothe and couldn't.  He could scream for hours and his cry was such a high pitch screaming cry.  Holding him and soothing him didn't always do the trick.  There were many times that I felt that he should have been back in the hospital, that they let him go home too soon.  It wasn't until probably the six month mark that we really started to see a big improvement. 

As horrible as the withdrawal was, he has no lasting effects from it and thankfully, he doesn't remember any of it.  He is a perfectly healthy and normal two year old.  Was the withdrawal horrible?  Yes.  Was it worth it?  Yes.  So thankful that those days are behind us, that even though he had a rough start, he is one awesome little boy. 

Flashback Friday

May 1-15

May 1:  I love 9 mile backups. :-(

May 4:  Strawberry picking with my boys.

 May 4:  Loved picking strawberries with Tater. As you can see by the red juice around his mouth, he loved it, too.

May 4: Really wish that more churches would keep their online calendars that they have linked on their websites updated.

May 4:  Oh my....Crazy thunderstorm right on top of us. So not a fan of lightning!

May 5:  I love these!

 May 6:  It's not even June and I already have a nice flip flop tan. :)

 May 7:  Trying to find a job for next year = Not my favorite thing

May 8:  Had dreams about matchbox cars and toy trains. Can you tell that I'm a mom to a little boy?

May 8:  Love.  :)

 May 8:  Dear Headache,
Thank you for waiting until nap time to arrive, but please don't hang around too long, okay?

May 10:

 May 10:  How Tater fell asleep tonight.

 May 11:  Bike rides with Brennen.

 May 12: Love these boys.

 May 13:  Sonic date with the boy who calls me Mommy. :)

 May 14:  Never a dull moment with this one.

 May 15:  When Daddy's away, Mommy and Tater will play.

 May 15:  Tonight, while saying prayers with Tater we prayed for quite a few things, one of those being that Daddy would have a good night at work and make lots of tips. After I left the room, I was watching him on the monitor and I heard him say, "God, Daddy tips. Maymen. (Amen)."  

I love that boy!