Just Because

I'm blogging just because I know that some of you are itching to know if we've heard anything!!!

No calls from the attorney today.
Now, she did call me the other night at 8:45, so I guess I could still get one tonight, but I'm not holding my breath.  So, for now, we're still waiting to hear when we'll be able to meet with J and get more info.

There are pieces of me that want to shout from the rooftops and to go shopping and pick out paint colors, but there are also pieces of me that are very cautious and hesitant and refuse to allow me to get my hopes up.

Adoption is scary stuff.  It's not for the fainthearted.  Even if everything goes well with J, even if we move forward, even if we decorate the nursery, buy the baby stuff, etc, etc, she still has the right to change her mind once the baby is born.  There is no guarantee and this scares me, a lot.  I would be lying if I told you that I wasn't scared out of my mind.  (I do plan on writing a blog about all of this-her rights, our rights, etc.-soon, since I know many of you have questions.)

I just have to remind myself that there is no guarantee in getting pregnant either.  Pregnant people miscarry, babies are born with horrible illnesses and defects, some babies die before they are even born and have to be delivered, never to take their first breath, even though their bodies look perfect.

In life, we take chances, some big and some little.  For this, for the chance to be a family of three, I will buckle up and ride this emotional roller coaster, even if it takes my breath and throws me for a loop.  :)