So, after a day filled with nerves, we met with J at 4 this afternoon. The meeting went really, really well. She was easy to talk to and get along with. We got to meet outside and the weather was perfect. We met for about 45 minutes, talking and getting to know each other.
She's 28 just like us!
Baby is due March 23, but will be born through a c-section a week earlier.
Baby is VERY active!!!
Like I said, it went really, really well, but I'm struggling.
If we do this, if we move forward, we stand to lose a lot if she changes her mind. In any state, a birthmother can't sign papers until after the baby is born. This means that we could invest lots of money into this baby and then she could decide to parent at the last minute.
If this were to happen, our dreams of having a family would have to be put on hold for probably 4-5 years while we payed off the loan we're taking out for this adoption. I just don't know if I'm ready for this. Am I ready to take that chance? Will I be able to accept being that childless couple for years to come, paying off a loan when we have nothing to show for it?
Why can't this just be easy??????
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
4 comments:
be steady friend. this risk will be present in any adoption. be open with this woman and your lawyers about all these concerns.
I agree with Chris, about being honest. You guys are in my prayers. Will put you on the prayer list @ church Sunday too...if that's ok.
If there are no birth mom expenses involved, then you really aren't going to lose any money until you get attorneys involved. Attorneys don't have to get invovled until weeks before the birth. They will tell you otherwise because they want their money. If J would like to match with you, do it, and then wait until late February to have the "Are you positive?" conversation. By that time, you wil have formed a relationship and be able to read her better. The get attorneys involved. Adoptions happen with stork drops. Attorneys aren't involved with those until after the birth, so there is no need to rush into the heavy duty expenses. I'm really hopeful for you! Feel free to email me if you want any advice :) babymacwhereareyou@verizon.net
Whether you take a loan or not, it still sucks if you have a failed adoption. We managed to scrape together everything and not take a loan, but if ours falls through, we will have nothing left to start another. It's just the risk but you've gotta move past that. Put all your trust and faith in the Lord.
I totally agree with RB that you should not need to shell out any money until weeks before it all happens. We didn't write any checks until after we met the bmom in November, which was still early but I wanted to meet the attorney face to face before I wrote a check to her. I believe you said yours is an in-state adoption so that will make it easier as well.
Email me if you have any questions! Every adoption is different but I'm here to offer you advice or support! lifeandadoption@gmail.com
Post a Comment