Just wanted to let everyone know that we haven't heard anything about the situation we learned about yesterday. I know that they were meeting with the birthmother today, so I'm guessing that it took a while and that is why I didn't get an email. Hoping to hear something tomorrow.
I'm sorry if I worried anyone with my comment about this situation being scary. No one is in danger or anything like that, but I will let you know that this particular situation not only involves an infant, but could possibly involve a sibling that is a toddler. For me, that is scary. Yes, it would be awesome, but the adjustment for us going from no kids to two kids would be very overwhelming, "scary", and hard considering the toddler would have lots of adjustments to go through. So, again, I am sorry if I worried you. :)
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
New Puppy, BOH, and Possibilities
We got a new puppy!!!! 
Isn't he cute??? His name is Rufus, or so his collar says, and he was given to us by some dear friends that know that we are saving money to pay for the adoption of Baby VBK! :) Not only will he help us out as we save money, even our change, but I can't wait for him to be a part of Baby VBK's nursery someday. I love him!!! Welcome to the family, Rufus.
BOH is our agency and I have no idea why I don't feel comfortable sharing their name on my blog. Most of you already know it or can figure it out pretty easily, but I do know that keeping it off of my blog stops it from coming up when the agency is searched on an internet search. Who knows as to why I feel this way.
(I am sorry this isn't the best pic, but I just snapped this pic on my way out of the parking lot.)
I stopped by BOH, our agency, after school today to drop off our corrected profiles. (The profile story is a super long story and not at all exciting, so I'll spare you the details for now.) I got to talk with Jenn, who deals with the adoptive families and I got more information. The mother in Naples that I mentioned a while back did pick another family from the agency, so that closes that door for us.
She did share this with me:
There is a mother that the head lady is talking to tomorrow and our profile, along with others, is being shown to her TOMORROW. There are things that I do know about this situation that are exciting and scary (not fear, but rather, the oh wow scary), but I don't want or feel that I can share them on the blog at this time. I know, I'm leaving you hanging on the edge of your seats, right? :)
Jenn said that she would call or email me with more information after their meeting tomorrow. So, please, please, please pray. PLEASE!!!! If nothing else, pray that I can sleep well tonight and not think about it every waking minute tomorrow. So far tonight, it's been on my mind almost constantly. I had planned on coming home and getting lots accomplished, but when Dave suggested a movie around 7:30, I thought a movie night sounded wonderful, so not much has been done. Oh well, it at least occupied my mind for a while.
Again, please, please, please pray!!!!
Monday, January 4, 2010
A Moving Post
The other day, I was reading one of the blogs I follow and was moved by Laurie's words as she wrote her new post. I wanted to share what she wrote, as most of it (not all of it, due to the fact that I haven't adopted yet) beautifully conveys how I feel. (And yes, I got permission.)
Enjoy!
Here's what Laurie wrote:
"For as long as I can remember ya'll know I wanted to be a mom. Only I thought that would happen the way it does for everyone else- through conception, pregnancy, and childbirth. I believed it was my greatest calling and accomplishment as a woman to be given the privilege of ushering new life into this world. My body would finally do something right instead of always being my nemesis as it has been since I was a child. I was never able to skate, turn cartwheels, cheer lead, do gymnastics, run a marathon, or even fit in a tiny pair of jeans! My body always worked against me. I thought well one day I'll be excited to wear baggy shirts and these hips will come in handy in childbearing! But no. My body couldn't even do that. And this has been a dream unfulfilled that I have clung to bitterly for years. Sure, the sting of it is not always there. I have made peace with God about how He chose to bring my children to me. I even feel deep, deep gratitude for His love in caring so deeply about my heart's desire to mother that he brought a daughter to me as a newborn, and allowing me to witness her entrance into this world. And I feel immense pride when I see Isaac's sweet brown face and I know there is no way he could have ever come from my body and been this perfect.
But when I see a woman, swollen around the middle, glowing with the mystery of what is inside her...when I hear about the excitement that her mother has in welcoming a new grandchild into the fold... when I think about breastfeeding and all it's ups and downs- I feel the sting, and it is sharp and comes without warning. It is the pain of a dream unfulfilled. You see for me there will never be a big "Guess What?" announcement that brings joy and excitement to those I share it with. If and when we announce that God will be blessing us with another member of the family, unlike pregnancy, this is seen as a choice. And it is. It takes much planning and requires lots of paperwork. Nevertheless, when the day comes that we begin the process all over again, the questions will swirl..."are you sure this is the right time? Do you have room? How will you support another one? Aren't you content with the two you have? How will you pay for the adoption? How?....Why?....When?" You see this is the reaction most common amongst those of us who build our family through adoption. And likely there will not be a convenient 40 weeks to figure that all out! There will be no one bringing balloons and flowers to the hospital to welcome our little one into the world and family. Only one dear friend came for Vivi. Oh they were invited, mind you. But we faced that one alone. Why? Because of the "what if's" I suppose. What if the birthmother doesn't place? What if it is awkward meeting the birth family? What if? Hey we asked ourselves those very questions...but would not have missed those moments for the world. And I know stating these words stem from selfish desires and possibly offends. The fact is we all have let down the ones we love in one way or another. I am all too guilty of that very thing. I thank my Lord for His forgiveness in my own shortcomings that I too may forgive others."
Thank you, Laurie! :)
Enjoy!
Here's what Laurie wrote:
"For as long as I can remember ya'll know I wanted to be a mom. Only I thought that would happen the way it does for everyone else- through conception, pregnancy, and childbirth. I believed it was my greatest calling and accomplishment as a woman to be given the privilege of ushering new life into this world. My body would finally do something right instead of always being my nemesis as it has been since I was a child. I was never able to skate, turn cartwheels, cheer lead, do gymnastics, run a marathon, or even fit in a tiny pair of jeans! My body always worked against me. I thought well one day I'll be excited to wear baggy shirts and these hips will come in handy in childbearing! But no. My body couldn't even do that. And this has been a dream unfulfilled that I have clung to bitterly for years. Sure, the sting of it is not always there. I have made peace with God about how He chose to bring my children to me. I even feel deep, deep gratitude for His love in caring so deeply about my heart's desire to mother that he brought a daughter to me as a newborn, and allowing me to witness her entrance into this world. And I feel immense pride when I see Isaac's sweet brown face and I know there is no way he could have ever come from my body and been this perfect.
But when I see a woman, swollen around the middle, glowing with the mystery of what is inside her...when I hear about the excitement that her mother has in welcoming a new grandchild into the fold... when I think about breastfeeding and all it's ups and downs- I feel the sting, and it is sharp and comes without warning. It is the pain of a dream unfulfilled. You see for me there will never be a big "Guess What?" announcement that brings joy and excitement to those I share it with. If and when we announce that God will be blessing us with another member of the family, unlike pregnancy, this is seen as a choice. And it is. It takes much planning and requires lots of paperwork. Nevertheless, when the day comes that we begin the process all over again, the questions will swirl..."are you sure this is the right time? Do you have room? How will you support another one? Aren't you content with the two you have? How will you pay for the adoption? How?....Why?....When?" You see this is the reaction most common amongst those of us who build our family through adoption. And likely there will not be a convenient 40 weeks to figure that all out! There will be no one bringing balloons and flowers to the hospital to welcome our little one into the world and family. Only one dear friend came for Vivi. Oh they were invited, mind you. But we faced that one alone. Why? Because of the "what if's" I suppose. What if the birthmother doesn't place? What if it is awkward meeting the birth family? What if? Hey we asked ourselves those very questions...but would not have missed those moments for the world. And I know stating these words stem from selfish desires and possibly offends. The fact is we all have let down the ones we love in one way or another. I am all too guilty of that very thing. I thank my Lord for His forgiveness in my own shortcomings that I too may forgive others."
Thank you, Laurie! :)
Time is Ticking Away
You may have noticed that I added a few new things on the left side of my blog, two for those being "tickers." One is counting the time that has passed since we completed our home study and the other counting the time that has passed since we turned our official profile into the local agency here in Jax.
Wow-As of today, we've had our home study completed for exactly two months and we've had our profile at the agency for exactly three weeks. :)
What is crazy is that it feels like forever and I mean that in all honesty. When I first put up the second ticker, I thought I was going crazy. I double checked my phone log to check the date to make sure. I feel as if it's been three months, not three weeks. I know that it will all happen in due time, that we will receive a wonderful call one day that either a baby is waiting for us or that we are matched, but I'm learning that I'm not very patient at all!!!!!
I know that if we decided to get pregnant today (well, maybe not us, but a very fertile couple), it still might be weeks before the timing was right or until e those two pink lines would appear on a pregnancy test. If we got pregnant today, we would still have to wait nine months before the baby arrived.
I think what it comes down to...is control.
With our own bodies, we have some control. Obviously, for Dave and I, things just aren't happening as the textbooks would say, but for many, they can choose at what time they want to get pregnant (or at least a timeframe) or for the most part, prevent it from happening (Dave and I are pros at this). Knowing that we not only have to wait for a pregnant mother to contact the agency, but then to have to pick our profile out of the all of the others that she sees, makes me realize that I have pretty much NO control. I'm having to depend upon God and trust that His plan is the right one, even though it may not be the one that we think or "fit" into our timeframe.
Wow-As of today, we've had our home study completed for exactly two months and we've had our profile at the agency for exactly three weeks. :)
What is crazy is that it feels like forever and I mean that in all honesty. When I first put up the second ticker, I thought I was going crazy. I double checked my phone log to check the date to make sure. I feel as if it's been three months, not three weeks. I know that it will all happen in due time, that we will receive a wonderful call one day that either a baby is waiting for us or that we are matched, but I'm learning that I'm not very patient at all!!!!!
I know that if we decided to get pregnant today (well, maybe not us, but a very fertile couple), it still might be weeks before the timing was right or until e those two pink lines would appear on a pregnancy test. If we got pregnant today, we would still have to wait nine months before the baby arrived.
I think what it comes down to...is control.
With our own bodies, we have some control. Obviously, for Dave and I, things just aren't happening as the textbooks would say, but for many, they can choose at what time they want to get pregnant (or at least a timeframe) or for the most part, prevent it from happening (Dave and I are pros at this). Knowing that we not only have to wait for a pregnant mother to contact the agency, but then to have to pick our profile out of the all of the others that she sees, makes me realize that I have pretty much NO control. I'm having to depend upon God and trust that His plan is the right one, even though it may not be the one that we think or "fit" into our timeframe.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
A Recommendation
(Picture taken from http://www.crossway.org/product/9781581349115)
The great thing is that it's not just for people that are adopting, but rather a book for the church about the importance of recognizing our own adoption into God's family and the importance of earthly adoption as a part of God's command.
Here's the description of the book as taken from http://www.crossway.org/product/9781581349115
"The gospel of Jesus Christ—the good news that through Jesus we have been adopted as sons and daughters into God’s family—means that Christians ought to be at the forefront of the adoption of orphans in North America and around the world.
Russell D. Moore does not shy away from this call in Adopted for Life, a popular-level, practical manifesto for Christians to adopt children and to help equip other Christian families to do the same. He shows that adoption is not just about couples who want children—or who want more children. It is about an entire culture within the church, a culture that sees adoption as part of the Great Commission mandate and as a sign of the gospel itself."
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Follow Your Heart
My mom gave me this necklace for Christmas and it is quite possibly one of my favorite gifts because through this adoption journey, my mom has told me to follow my heart when it comes to making decisions. The back piece holds a picture and right now, it contains a piece of paper saying Baby VBK. One day, after following my heart, I can't wait to put a picture of the real Baby VBK in it.
(This is part of my 365 project, where I'm trying to take one picture each day.
http://365project.org/)
Friday, January 1, 2010
Praying in 2010!
So, the new year has started and it's officially 2010. It's crazy to think that yet another year has come and gone.
I spent my New Year's night alone, well, without another human. Roscoe and Annabelle were here to keep me company. I was supposed to go to a lock in, but things didn't work out, mainly due to not feeling well. I ended up coming home, resting for a bit, and then I did what everyone does when they are home alone on New Years....I rearranged our living room furniture. :) I just needed a change and it's something I had been thinking about. Not sure if I like it yet, but we'll see.
Dave called this morning to let me know that I needed to come pick him up and to let me know that our car had been broken into. A little over a week ago, our car broke down in the church parking lot. We tried jumping it and it made it to the entrance for the parking lot, but didn't get any farther. Because it was right before we left for Virginia, we just left it there. Well, I guess someone finally decided that they needed to see what was inside and busted out the driver side window, the exact same window that was busted out about 2 years ago one day while I was at school. The funny thing is that there was nothing of value in the car. They didn't take anything, not even the few CDs that were in the car!!!! We filed a police report and thankfully, because we saved the receipt, the part that we need to make the car work is covered by a warranty. :) Hopefully, insurance will be able to help us replace the window.
On the adoption front, we're working on finding ways to raise money.
I looked into the tax-deductible option, but it appears that in order for this to work, you must be involved with an agency that accepts this or open a bank account with an adoption loan company and go through them. I'm going to continue to look, but it seems that is not an option for us.
We are thinking about designing a t-shirt and maybe some bracelets. I thought of putting something like "Praying for Dave and Jen in 2010!" on the bracelets. I'm sure Dave will come up with some cool design for the t-shirt. Our problem is that we wouldn't want to order too many and not make a profit, so we're looking for companies and products we can order in lower numbers. We'll see how it goes.
We are selling DVDs right now. I also plan on selling my film camera and a few other things.
We haven't heard anything from anybody in the last few days about possible adoption situations. After hearing about so many, it is somewhat depressing not hearing anything, but I do know that many of them were not in the office this week due to the holidays, so I just have to trust that God is in control.
I just keep praying that this year will be our year, the year when we become a family of 3!
Well, I need to get moving and try to get some things accomplished. I've got school work to do and while I do love my job, it's sad to think that my break is coming to an end so quickly.
I spent my New Year's night alone, well, without another human. Roscoe and Annabelle were here to keep me company. I was supposed to go to a lock in, but things didn't work out, mainly due to not feeling well. I ended up coming home, resting for a bit, and then I did what everyone does when they are home alone on New Years....I rearranged our living room furniture. :) I just needed a change and it's something I had been thinking about. Not sure if I like it yet, but we'll see.
Dave called this morning to let me know that I needed to come pick him up and to let me know that our car had been broken into. A little over a week ago, our car broke down in the church parking lot. We tried jumping it and it made it to the entrance for the parking lot, but didn't get any farther. Because it was right before we left for Virginia, we just left it there. Well, I guess someone finally decided that they needed to see what was inside and busted out the driver side window, the exact same window that was busted out about 2 years ago one day while I was at school. The funny thing is that there was nothing of value in the car. They didn't take anything, not even the few CDs that were in the car!!!! We filed a police report and thankfully, because we saved the receipt, the part that we need to make the car work is covered by a warranty. :) Hopefully, insurance will be able to help us replace the window.
On the adoption front, we're working on finding ways to raise money.
I looked into the tax-deductible option, but it appears that in order for this to work, you must be involved with an agency that accepts this or open a bank account with an adoption loan company and go through them. I'm going to continue to look, but it seems that is not an option for us.
We are thinking about designing a t-shirt and maybe some bracelets. I thought of putting something like "Praying for Dave and Jen in 2010!" on the bracelets. I'm sure Dave will come up with some cool design for the t-shirt. Our problem is that we wouldn't want to order too many and not make a profit, so we're looking for companies and products we can order in lower numbers. We'll see how it goes.
We are selling DVDs right now. I also plan on selling my film camera and a few other things.
We haven't heard anything from anybody in the last few days about possible adoption situations. After hearing about so many, it is somewhat depressing not hearing anything, but I do know that many of them were not in the office this week due to the holidays, so I just have to trust that God is in control.
I just keep praying that this year will be our year, the year when we become a family of 3!
Well, I need to get moving and try to get some things accomplished. I've got school work to do and while I do love my job, it's sad to think that my break is coming to an end so quickly.
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